another moral hangover. fuck.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Who died my cat blue again?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
