exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
