i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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