How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
