You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
