I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
