Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
