thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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