you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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