i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
