We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
