Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
