just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
