sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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