Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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