sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
