Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He shit in the fireplace
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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