Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
