Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
