Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Randomize
