so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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