The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
COCAINE IS GR8
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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