i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
