I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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