I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
