you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
