Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
