Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
