Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
