the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
