You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
