we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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