I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
