he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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