This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
