i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
