i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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