Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Randomize
