I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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