sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
