Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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