Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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