i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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