HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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