What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
only you would photoshop your dick
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Randomize
