If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
