my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
