This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
