then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
