I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
