I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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