I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
