Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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