that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Two words: nipple clamps
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
